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The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate at fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013 v.2

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate at fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013 v. 2
The bar chart gives information about the percentage of american people in the years of 2003, 2006 and 2013 who ate out in fast food establishment. Overall, what stands out is that americans in the years of 2006 and 2013 followed the same amount in three categories (never, everyday, a few times a year). Moreover, the proportions of eating junk foods once a week and once or twice a month is higher in all years. As can be seen, in 2006 and 2013, first and the last part of spectrum show the same percentage, with roughly 2. 5(every day) and 4(never) percent respectively as well as a few times a year categories, acconted for 15 per cent for both. In the year of 2013, just the percentage of once or twice a month is higher than others, about 33 per cent. It is evident that, in 2006, fast food restaurants goers, went to restaurants at least once a week to several times a week more frequent than other classifications in comparison with other years, with almost 33 and 20 per cent respectively. Interestingly, higher percentage of people in 2003 had gone to restaurants every day and never compare to 2006 and 2013 and in the rest of categories the proportion of 2003 was less than 2006 and 2013.
The bar chart gives information about the
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percentage
of
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american
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the years of 2003, 2006 and 2013 who ate out in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food establishment.

Overall
, what stands out is that
Possible spelling mistake found.
americans
in the years of 2006 and 2013 followed the same amount in three categories (never,
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, a few times a
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year)
.
Moreover
, the proportions of eating junk foods
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once
a week and
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once
or twice a month is higher in all years.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, in 2006 and 2013,
first
and the last part of spectrum
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the same
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percentage
, with roughly 2. 5(every day) and 4(never) percent
respectively
as well
as a few times a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
categories,
Possible spelling mistake found.
acconted
for 15 per cent for both. In the
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year
of 2013,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
or twice a month is higher than others, about 33 per cent.

It is evident that, in 2006,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food restaurants goers, went to restaurants at least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
once
a week to several times a week more frequent than other classifications
in comparison
with other years, with almost 33 and 20 per cent
respectively
.
Interestingly
, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2003 had gone to restaurants every day and never compare to 2006 and 2013 and in the rest of categories the proportion of 2003 was less than 2006 and 2013.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
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IELTS academic The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate at fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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