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the charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

the charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
The pie charts show percentages of three types of nutrients consumed in the USA in different meals during a day. The breakfast is the lowest consumption of both types of nutrients, while dinner is the heaviest consumption of both three types. Snacks has highest contents of added sugar while sodium is consumed the most in dinner. With four types of meal, breakfast contains the smallest portion as compared with the other meals during a day, only 14% for sodium, 16% for saturated fat and added sugar. In contrast, dinner contains a large portion of both types, 43%, 37%, and 23% for sodium, saturated fat and added sugar respectively. For lunch, the USA consumption is significant by sodium, at 29%, while saturated fat and added sugar are at 26% and 19% respectively. Snacks keep small portion at everything except added sugar, which is available up to 42% as compared with other meals during a day.
The pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
percentages of three
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types
of nutrients consumed in the USA in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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meals
during a day.

The breakfast is the lowest consumption of both
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types
of nutrients, while dinner is the heaviest consumption of both three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "snack has".
Snacks has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
contents of
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added
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sugar
while sodium
is consumed
the most in dinner.

With four
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types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
, breakfast contains the smallest portion as compared with the other
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meals
during a day,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
14% for sodium, 16% for saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
In contrast
, dinner contains a large portion of both
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types
, 43%, 37%, and 23% for sodium, saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
respectively
.

For lunch, the USA consumption is significant by sodium, at 29%, while saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
are at 26% and 19%
respectively
. Snacks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
portion at everything except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
, which is available up to 42% as compared with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
during a day.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS academic the charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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