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The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, descr v.2

The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, descr v. 2
There are two different charts displayed the results obtained from a survey regarding adult education. The bar chart illustrates why adults would want to study. On the other hand, the pie chart depicts the opinions of people on how the cost of adult education should be shared. According to the bar chart, first of all, it could be seen that the major reason for adults to study was because of their interests in certain subjects, which constituted 40%. The second reason which accounted for 38% was that the adults would like to gain qualifications. Besides, there was exactly 22% of adults who found that continue to study would help with their jobs. The reasons that adults studied were to improve prospects of promotion and the enjoyment of learning or studying showed the same percentage which was 20%. Apart from that, there was 12% of adults studied so as to change their jobs. It is surprising to note that merely 9% of adults studied for the reason of meeting people. Based on the pie chart, people think that individual should share 40% of the cost of each course. As for the employers and taxpayers, people are in the perspective that they should share 35% and 25% of the education cost respectively.
There are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
displayed the results obtained from a survey regarding adult education. The bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
illustrates why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
would want to study.
On the other hand
, the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
depicts the opinions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on how the cost of adult education should
be shared
.

According to the bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to study was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their interests in certain subjects, which constituted 40%. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which accounted for 38% was that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
would like to gain qualifications.
Besides
, there was exactly 22% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
who found that continue to study would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with their jobs. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
studied were to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
prospects of promotion and the enjoyment of learning or studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the same percentage which was 20%. Apart from that, there was 12% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
studied
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their jobs. It is surprising to note that
merely
9% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
studied for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of meeting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Based on the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that individual should share 40% of the cost of each course. As for the employers and taxpayers,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in the perspective that they should share 35% and 25% of the education cost
respectively
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, descr v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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