Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The charts below show the primary purposes for British people leaving their country in 1999 and the amount of those people who left the country for less than a week. v.2

The charts below show the primary purposes for British people leaving their country in 1999 and the amount of those people who left the country for less than a week. v. 2
The bar graphs compare the two main reasons why British people went abroad in 1999 and the number of those who came back within a week. Overall, as the age rises the more British leave the country for work/study, while the opposite trend could be seen for those leaving for holiday. It is also noticeable that the highest percentage of people returning within a week belongs to the age category of below 20, whereas the age group of 25-30 comprised the lowest figure. Leaving the country for holiday was the most common reason for those under 20 at 80%, while this age comprised the least number for work/study at 10%. The proportion of those who went abroad for a holiday in the age category of 25-30 was nearly 3 times higher than those who left for work/study at just over a fifth. Above 40 had the highest figure of people going abroad for work/study at 70% but it also comprised the smallest number for British who left for a holiday at 30%. Returning within a week was commonly observed for those under 20 at approximately 65% but the 25-30-year-old group had the least number of cases at 35 %. The figures for 20-25, 35-40 and above 40 were about a half, nearly 40% and just over 40% respectively.
The bar graphs compare the two main reasons why British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
went abroad in 1999 and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
came back within a week.

Overall
, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
rises the more British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the country for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work/study
, while the opposite trend could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
for those leaving for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
. It is
also
noticeable that the highest percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
returning within a week belongs to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
category of below 20, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group of 25-30 comprised the lowest figure.

Leaving the country for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
was the most common reason for those under 20 at 80%, while this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
comprised the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work/study
at 10%. The proportion of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
went abroad for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
category of 25-30 was
nearly
3 times higher than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work/study
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over a fifth. Above 40 had the highest figure of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going abroad for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work/study
at 70%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
comprised the smallest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
for British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
at 30%.

Returning within a week was
commonly
observed for those under 20 at approximately 65%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the 25-30-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
group had the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cases at 35 %. The figures for 20-25, 35-40 and above 40 were about a half,
nearly
40% and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 40%
respectively
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS academic The charts below show the primary purposes for British people leaving their country in 1999 and the amount of those people who left the country for less than a week. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
218 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts