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The chart below shows the total number of minutes in billion of telephone calls in the UK divided into three categories from 1995 2002 v.1

The chart below shows the total number of minutes in billion of telephone calls in the UK divided into three categories from 1995 2002 v. 1
The chart depicts the time spent on three different types of telephone calls in the UK between 1995 and 2002. The minutes were measured in billion. Overall, local fixed line calls were the highest throughout the period. Although, there been some fluctuations. From 1995 to 2002, National and international fixed line calls and mobile calls had the similar figure, but mobile calls were experiencing very slow increase between 1995 to 1999. It can be seen that, between 1995 and 2002, the majority of people had been called through local fixed line calls. Rising from 70 billion minutes in 1995 to just under 90 minutes in 1998. After peaking at 90 billion in the following year (1999), these calls were falling and hit to the 1995 figure by 2002 (70 minutes). Moving to the national and international fixed line calls, in 1995, approximately 38 billion minutes spent but this trend was steadily went up to 60 billion minutes in 2002. Even though, 2001 and 2002 had almost equal numbers (60 billion). In addition, there was a dramatic increase in mobile calls, just over 2 billion in 1995 to considerably under 50 minutes in 2002. This rise was particularly noticeable from 1999 to 2002, during this time the usage of mobile calls tripled.
The chart depicts the time spent on three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of telephone
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calls
in the UK between 1995 and 2002. The minutes
were measured
in
Use "a billion" or use a number before 'billion'.
billion
.

Overall
, local
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fixed
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line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
were the highest throughout the period.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, there been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations. From 1995 to 2002, National and international
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fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
and mobile
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calls
had the similar figure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
were experiencing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slow increase
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1995 and 1999".
between 1995 to 1999
.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, between 1995 and 2002, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had
been called
through local
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fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
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calls
. Rising from 70
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billion
minutes in 1995 to
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just
under 90 minutes in 1998. After peaking at 90
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billion
in the following year (1999), these
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calls
were falling and hit to the 1995 figure by 2002 (70 minutes).

Moving to the national and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
, in 1995, approximately 38
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billion
minutes spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this trend was
steadily
went up to 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
minutes in 2002.
Even though
, 2001 and 2002 had almost equal numbers (60 billion).

In addition
, there was a dramatic increase in mobile
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calls
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in 1995 to
considerably
under 50 minutes in 2002. This rise was
particularly
noticeable from 1999 to 2002, during this time the usage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
tripled.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the total number of minutes in billion of telephone calls in the UK divided into three categories from 1995 2002 v. 1

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
211 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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