Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015.
The given bar charts demonstrate the ratios of employed workers of both genders in Australia, Japan, Ireland in the years 2005 and 2015. Generally speaking, there were upward trends in all countries and Japan accounted for the highest and lowest percentages of males and females in employment in both years. In 2005, the proportion of employed male workers in Japan was approximately 75% and rose slightly to around 78% in 2015. Those figures in Ireland saw a marginal growth from about 68% to 70% in the examined period, lower 7% and 8% compared to Japan respectively. In 2005, the percentage of men having occupation in Australia is the lowest in comparison with other countries, accounted for roughly 62%. However, it experienced a quite noticeable rise to 70% in 2015, the equal ratio to Ireland in the same year. In 2005, the percentage of women having job in Ireland was largest, occupied for about 44% and it saw a slightly increase by 6%, made up approximately 50% in 2015. On the contrary, the proportion of women in employment in Japan was the smallest over the surveyed period. Its ratio was just about 30% in 2005 and went up quite marginally to 34% in ten years. On the other hand, the ratio of females having job in Australia increased significantly from around 38% in 2005 to about 55% in 2015, which made it become the biggest ratio of employed female workers in three countries at the end of the survey.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar charts demonstrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratios
of employed workers of both genders in Australia,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, Ireland in the years 2005 and 2015.

Generally
speaking, there were upward trends in all countries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
accounted for the highest and lowest percentages of males and females in employment in both years.

In 2005, the proportion of employed male workers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was approximately 75% and rose
slightly
to around 78% in 2015. Those figures in Ireland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a marginal growth from about 68% to 70% in the examined period, lower 7% and 8% compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
respectively
. In 2005, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
having occupation in Australia is the lowest
in comparison
with other countries, accounted for roughly 62%.
However
, it experienced a quite noticeable rise to 70% in 2015, the equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
to Ireland in the same year.

In 2005, the percentage of women having job in Ireland was largest, occupied for about 44% and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
You used an adverb ('slightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
slightly increase
by 6%, made up approximately 50% in 2015.
On the contrary
, the proportion of women in employment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
was the smallest over the surveyed period. Its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 30% in 2005 and went up quite
marginally
to 34% in ten years.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
of females having job in Australia increased
significantly
from around 38% in 2005 to about 55% in 2015, which made it become the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ratio
of employed female workers in three countries at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the survey.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS academic The bar charts below show the percentages of men and women in employment in three countries in 2005 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts