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Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Percentage of water used for different purposes v.3

Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Percentage of water used for different purposes v. 3
The pie charts illustrate the portion of water consumed in various purposes in six regions of the globe. It can be seen in the charts that consumption of water in agricultural field are the most in regions except for North America and Europe, where water usages in industrial sectors are the highest. In Central Asia, agricultural sector uses water the highest, at 88%, followed by Africa and South East Asia, at 84% and 81% respectively. Moreover, South American uses most of the water in agriculture as well. However, the need of water for agricultural purposes in North America and Europe is the second highest component, at 39% and 32%. In contrast, while industries in North America and Europe use a major portion of water, factories in Africa and Central Asia consume the water the least. South East Asia and South America require more or less the same amount of water in industries. The usage of water in domestic needs is same in South and Central part of Asia, at 7%. Similarly, in North America and Europe consume the same level of water, while in Africa household water usages has been just below 10%.
The pie charts illustrate the portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumed in various purposes in six regions of the globe. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the charts that consumption of
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water
in agricultural field are the most in regions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
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North
America and Europe, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usages in industrial sectors are the highest.

In Central Asia, agricultural sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
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water
the highest, at 88%, followed by Africa and South East Asia, at 84% and 81%
respectively
.
Moreover
, South American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
most of the
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water
in agriculture
as well
.
However
, the need of
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water
for agricultural purposes in
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North
America and Europe is the second highest component, at 39% and 32%.

In contrast
, while industries in
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North
America and Europe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a major portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, factories in Africa and Central Asia consume the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
the least. South East Asia and South America require more or less the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in industries.

The usage of
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water
in domestic needs is same in South and Central part of Asia, at 7%.
Similarly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
America and Europe consume the same level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, while in Africa household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
usages has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 10%.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Percentage of water used for different purposes v. 3

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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