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The charts below show the percentage of men and women in different weight groups in England between 1993 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The charts below show the percentage of men and women in different weight groups in England between 1993 and 2002.
The line graphs illustrate average figures of different weight categories were classified according to gender in England over a period of 9 years from 1993 to 2002. It is clear that in both sexes, the English people significantly was in overweight group and the proportion of people had dangerously obese almost zero over the period shown. In 1993, almost half of English women were overweight whereas healthy weight group was the biggest category for men, the ratio of overweight men just stood in second position, with approximately 42%. It had an approximation between the obese rate of both genders, but women' s was a little more, around 12% and 10% respectively. By 1998, healthy weight men in English started to decrease and was dropped to second position while the first place was overweight group, which increased steadily over time. Simultaneously, healthy weight women proportion had a fast fall, dropped to about 32%, and this number was maintained in later stages. Then, in the final, the figures did not have many changes.
The line graphs illustrate average figures of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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weight
categories
were classified
according to gender in England over a period of 9 years from 1993 to 2002.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in both sexes, the English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
significantly
was in
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overweight
group and the proportion of
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people
had
dangerously
obese almost zero over the period shown.

In 1993, almost half of English women were
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overweight
whereas healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
group was the biggest category for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stood in second position, with approximately 42%. It had an approximation between the obese rate of both genders,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
women&
#039; s was a
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little
more, around 12% and 10%
respectively
.

By 1998, healthy
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weight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to decrease and
was dropped
to second position while the
first
place was
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overweight
group, which increased
steadily
over time.
Simultaneously
, healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
women proportion had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
fall, dropped to about 32%, and this number
was maintained
in later stages. Then, in the final, the figures did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS academic The charts below show the percentage of men and women in different weight groups in England between 1993 and 2002.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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