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The charts below show the males and females arrested over five years and the reasons for the most recent arrests. v.2

The charts below show the males and females arrested over five years and the reasons for the most recent arrests. v. 2
The pie charts compare how many men and women arrested over a 5 year period and the table illustrates the 7 different reasons for recent arrests. Overall, females were more law-abiding citizens as compared to males. It is also noticeable that public drinking was the most common reason of arrest in both genders. The percentage of males arrested was higher by nearly four times at 32% than females at 9%. By contrast, the number of women who were not arrested was more than three quarters as opposed to men at 68%. Public drinking was the major reason of arrest in females at roughly 40% and just over 30% in males, whereas the least reason in both genders was the no answer at less than a tenth. Drinking while driving had the most significant difference among sexes, while there were more than a quarter of men arrested just under 15% for women. Breach of order, theft and other reasons were higher in males at between around 15% and approximately 20%, whilst assault was commonly committed by females at nearly a fifth.
The pie charts compare how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
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arrested
over a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "5-year"
5 year
period and the table illustrates the 7
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different
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reasons
for recent arrests.

Overall
,
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females
were more law-abiding citizens as compared to
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males
. It is
also
noticeable that public drinking was the most common
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reason
of arrest in both genders.

The percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrested
was higher by
nearly
four times at 32% than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
at 9%. By contrast, the number of women who were not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrested
was more than three quarters as opposed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
at 68%.

Public drinking was the major
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reason
of arrest in
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females
at roughly 40% and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 30% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
, whereas the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
in both genders was the no answer at less than a tenth. Drinking while driving had the most significant difference among sexes, while there were more than a quarter of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 15% for women. Breach of order, theft and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
were higher in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
at between around 15% and approximately 20%, whilst assault was
commonly
committed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
at
nearly
a fifth.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below show the males and females arrested over five years and the reasons for the most recent arrests. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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