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The Chart below show the males and females arrested over 5 years and the reasons for the most recent arrests. v.2

The Chart below show the males and females arrested over 5 years and the reasons for the most recent arrests. v. 2
The given circular charts highlight the information about the number of imprisoned men and women, and the bar graph illustrate the reasons of the imprisonment from the year 1990 to 1994. The data is given in per centum. Overall, it is evident that number of significant arrested men are more as compared to women, whereas, public drinking is the main factor due to which they were atrested. It can be seen that, 32% males had been, however, only less than one in ten females were arrested. Moreover, in terms of drink driving, number of males were likely to be higher(26%) than females which was just, 14% who were being arrested in this case. Furthermore, in the matter of breeach of order, number of arrested men and women were nearly 17% and 12% respectively. With regards to the remaining reasons of the imprisonment, theft case accounted for 16% of men and 12% of women, while, number of male and female being arrested for other reasons were more in comparison of it. As well as, least amount of both the gender had no reason why they were arrested.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
circular charts highlight the information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of imprisoned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, and the bar graph illustrate the
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reasons
of the imprisonment from the year 1990 to 1994. The data is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in per centum.

Overall
, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, whereas, public drinking is the main factor due to which they were
Possible spelling mistake found.
atrested
.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, 32% males had been,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
less than one in ten females were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrested
.
Moreover
, in terms of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
drink driving
,
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number
of males were likely to be higher(26%) than females which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
, 14% who were being
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arrested
in this case
.
Furthermore
, in the matter of
Possible spelling mistake found.
breeach
of order,
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
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women
were
nearly
17% and 12%
respectively
.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the remaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of the imprisonment, theft case accounted for 16% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and 12% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, while,
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number
of male and female being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrested
for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
were more
in comparison
of it.
As well
as,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
amount of both the gender had no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arrested
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
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IELTS academic The Chart below show the males and females arrested over 5 years and the reasons for the most recent arrests. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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