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The line graph below shows the consumption of 4 different kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004 v.2

The line graph below shows the consumption of 4 different kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004 v. 2
The line graph illustrates, four several types of meat which is eaten weekly per person in a European country in 25 years between 1979 and 2004. Units are measured in grams. Overall, it can be seen that the most popular consumption of meat among the European country is chicken whereas fish has experienced an opposite to the chicken. Ingestion of beef and lamb showed a decrease in the figure of eating throughout the entire period. Beef was eaten almost 210 grams per person per week in 1979 though it showed some fluctuation but at the end of period 2004, it was steadily declined to 110 grams. Both chicken and lamb began with 150 grams where each person have showed an accelerated increase in the consumption of chicken per week so figure rise to the peak level which is approximately 280 grams but in 2004 it was slightly drooped to 250 grams while lamb dropped down dramatically to 60 grams in 2004. Fish was the less eaten meat throughout the period which was 54 grams every week per person but after 1981 it falls down to 50 grams and it remained under 50 grams throughout the entire period.
The line graph illustrates, four several types of meat which
is eaten
weekly per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in a European country in 25 years between 1979 and 2004. Units
are measured
in grams.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the most popular consumption of meat among the European country is chicken whereas fish has experienced an opposite to the chicken. Ingestion of beef and lamb
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a decrease in the figure of eating throughout the entire period.

Beef
was eaten
almost 210
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
per week in 1979 though it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of period 2004, it was
steadily
declined to 110
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
. Both chicken and lamb began with 150
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
where each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an accelerated increase in the consumption of chicken per week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
figure rise to the peak level which is approximately 280
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2004 it was
slightly
drooped to 250
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
while lamb
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "dropped".
dropped down
dramatically
to 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2004.

Fish was the
Make sure that the adjective 'less' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'eaten'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
less eaten
meat throughout the period which was 54
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
every week per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after 1981 it falls down to 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
and it remained under 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
throughout the entire period.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The line graph below shows the consumption of 4 different kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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