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The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas. v.2

The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas. v. 2
The bar graph compares the population growth in five large cities between 1970 and 2010 while the table lists down the five most populous cities in the world both in 1950 and 2010. In addition, the line graph analyses the global population in rural and urban areas. Overall, Tokyo had the largest population in 2010 but the population growth in Bombay and Jakarta outranked other cities. Finally, more people started to live in cities after 2005 despite a different scenario in earlier years. As the data suggests, Tokyo had over 15 million residents in 1970 which was three and five times higher than that of Bombay and Jakarta respectively. New York and Shanghai had approximately 14 and 12 million inhabitants in this year. After two decades, New York witnessed a meagre population growth while it was dramatic both in Jakarta and Bombay. It is evident that population growth in Jakarta and Bombay exceeded all other cities. In 1950, New York, London, Tokyo, Paris and Moskow were the top five populous cities in the world. In 2010 Bombay, Lagos, Shanghai and Jakarta ranked in the list by eliminating all other cites except Tokyo which stood first on the chart with over 27 million citizens. Finally, the global urban population in 1980 was below 2 billion while 3 billion lived in villages. The population in cities grew steadily and went over  4 billion in 2010 at which point 3 billion global population resided in rural areas.
The bar graph compares the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
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growth
in five large
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cities
between 1970 and 2010 while the table lists down the five most populous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the world both in 1950 and 2010.
In addition
, the line graph analyses the global
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population
in rural and urban areas.

Overall
, Tokyo had the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in 2010
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in Bombay and Jakarta outranked other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Finally
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
after 2005 despite a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
scenario in earlier years.

As the data suggests, Tokyo had over 15 million residents in 1970 which was three and five times higher than that of Bombay and Jakarta
respectively
. New York and Shanghai had approximately 14 and 12 million inhabitants in this year. After two decades, New York witnessed a
Possible spelling mistake. 'meagre' is British English.
meagre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
while it was dramatic both in Jakarta and Bombay. It is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in Jakarta and Bombay exceeded all other cities.

In 1950, New York, London, Tokyo, Paris and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moskow
were the top five populous
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cities
in the world. In 2010 Bombay, Lagos, Shanghai and Jakarta ranked in the list by eliminating all other cites except Tokyo which stood
first
on the chart with over 27 million citizens.

Finally
, the global urban
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population
in 1980 was below 2
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billion
while 3
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billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in villages. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
grew
steadily
and went over
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
4
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billion
in 2010 at which point 3
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billion
global
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population
resided in rural areas.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS academic The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world’s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
244 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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