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The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas v.1

The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas v. 1
The given charts illustrate the increase in population growth of largest cities in the world during the different period of time. It is clear from the graph that, Tokyo was the city with the highest population over 15 million in 1970 whereas, in comparison with Jakarta, the population was almost 2. 5 million in same year. In 1990, Tokyo again outnumbered all cities in terms of population with almost 24 million. However, there was increase in population in Jakarta to 9 million during 1990. By 2015, Tokyo topped the chart with almost 28 million people whereas New York was at bottom with over 15 million people. During 1950, New York was the city with highest population of 12. 5 million where both Paris and Moscow with population at 5. 3 million. By 2010, Tokyo came into the chart with 27. 6 million and was highest. The world population in urban areas was at 2 billion in 1990 which was almost double in 2010 whereas the rural population was steady in its growth and reached to 3. 2 billion. Overall, it is clear that the world population is increasing day by day and Tokyo was the only city with the highest population in every period.
The
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given
charts illustrate the increase in
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population
growth of
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largest
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cities
in the world during the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
period of time.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that, Tokyo was the city with the highest
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population
over 15
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million
in 1970 whereas,
in comparison
with Jakarta, the
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population
was
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almost
2. 5
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million
in same year. In 1990, Tokyo again outnumbered all
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cities
in terms of
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population
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
24
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million
.
However
, there was increase in
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population
in Jakarta to 9
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million
during 1990. By 2015, Tokyo topped the chart with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
28
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whereas New York was at bottom with over 15
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

During 1950, New York was the city with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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population
of 12. 5
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million
where both Paris and Moscow with
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population
at 5. 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. By 2010, Tokyo came into the chart with 27. 6
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million
and was highest.

The world
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population
in urban areas was at 2 billion in 1990 which was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
almost
double in 2010 whereas the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
was steady in its growth and reached to 3. 2 billion.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is increasing day by day and Tokyo was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
city with the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in every period.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below show the growth in the population in some of the world s largest cities as well as the population distribution in urban and rural areas v. 1

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
204 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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