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The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. v.3

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. v. 3
The diagram illustrates the proportion of three types of nutrients in typical meals, which can be unhealthy if consumed too much. 'Sodium', 'saturated fats' and 'added sugar' are these three food nutrients and the data is taken from the breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks Americans eat. Generally speaking, Americans eat less sodium, saturated fats and sugar during their breakfast but they consume a large proportion of them while they eat their lunch and dinner. The snacks also contain these nutrients in plenty. The first chart shows the average percentage of sodium intake by Americans. Dinner contains the highest ratio of sodium (43%) while 29% of it is eaten while having lunch. Breakfast and snacks include an equal proportion of sodium, which is 14% each. The second chart outlines the percentages of saturated fats in meals. By eating dinner, average Americans consume 37% of saturated fats, which is the highest among the meal types. Lunch contributes to a consumption of 26% saturated fats, followed by snacks with 21% and breakfast with 16%. The last pie chart illustrates the proportion of added sugar in meals. Snacks contain the highest proportion of it, 42%. A typical dinner includes 23% sugar while lunch and breakfast contain 19% and 16% respectively. It is worth noticing that, these three nutrients are less consumed through breakfasts by Americans.
The diagram illustrates the
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proportion
of three types of
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nutrients
in typical
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meals
, which can be unhealthy if consumed too much. 'Sodium', 'saturated fats' and '
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar' are these three food
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nutrients
and the data
is taken
from the
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breakfast
, lunch,
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dinner
and
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snacks
Americans eat.

Generally
speaking, Americans eat less sodium,
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saturated
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fats
and sugar during their
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breakfast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they consume a large
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proportion
of them while they eat their lunch and
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dinner
. The
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snacks
also
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contain
these
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nutrients
in
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plenty
.

The
first
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the average percentage of sodium intake by Americans.
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Dinner
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contains
the highest ratio of sodium (43%) while 29% of it
is eaten
while having lunch.
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Breakfast
and
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snacks
include an equal
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proportion
of sodium, which is 14% each. The second chart outlines the percentages of
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saturated
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fats
in
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meals
. By eating
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dinner
, average Americans consume 37% of
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saturated
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fats
, which is the highest among the
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meal
types. Lunch contributes to a consumption of 26%
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saturated
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fats
, followed by
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snacks
with 21% and
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breakfast
with 16%. The last pie chart illustrates the
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proportion
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
sugar in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
.
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Snacks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contain
the highest
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proportion
of it, 42%. A typical
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dinner
includes 23% sugar while lunch and
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breakfast
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contain
19% and 16%
respectively
. It is worth noticing that, these three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
are less consumed through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
breakfasts
by Americans.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
221 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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