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The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time. v.1

The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time. v. 1
The line graphs give data on the number of train commuters in Sydney from 1995 to 2004 and outline the ratio of trains that ran on time during the same period. As an overall trend, the number of rail passengers in Sydney gradually increased between 1995 to 2002 and in 2004 a higher percentage of locomotives failed to run on time. As the data suggests, 250 million passengers used the train transportations in 1995 in Sydney and this number slowly increased in the next 4 years. In 1999, train commuters' number in Sydney was around 265 million and it abruptly hiked in the next two years before dropping again in 2002. In 2000, 280 million passengers used locomotives and this number further increased and reached to the highest, 300 million, in 2001. From 2002 to 2004 the train commuters’ number remained constant at 280 million. Besides, more than 92% trains in 1995 arrived and reached their destination on time but this record deteriorated and dropped to just over 85% in 1997. In 2000, almost 15% rails failed to maintain the schedule and this scenario was worst in 2004 when more than 25% trains in Sydney could not run on time.
The line graphs give data on the
number
of
train
commuters in Sydney from 1995 to 2004 and outline the ratio of
trains
that ran on time during the same period. As an
overall
trend, the
number
of rail passengers in Sydney
gradually
increased
between 1995 to 2002
and in 2004 a higher percentage of locomotives failed to run on time.

As the data suggests, 250
million
passengers
used
the
train
transportations in 1995 in Sydney and this
number
slowly
increased in the
next
4 years. In 1999,
train
commuters'
number
in Sydney was around 265
million
and it
abruptly
hiked in the
next
two years
before
dropping again in 2002. In 2000, 280
million
passengers
used
locomotives and this
number
further
increased and reached to the highest, 300
million
, in 2001. From 2002 to 2004 the
train
commuters’
number
remained constant at 280 million.

Besides
, more than 92%
trains
in 1995 arrived and reached their destination on time
but
this record deteriorated and dropped to
just
over 85% in 1997. In 2000, almost 15% rails failed to maintain the schedule and this scenario was worst in 2004 when more than 25%
trains
in Sydney could not run on time.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS academic The first graph gives the number of passengers travelling by train in Sydney. The second graph provides information on the percentage of trains running on time. v. 1

Academic
3 paragraphs
200 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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