Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Charts A and B show the share of the UK and Australian cinema market in 2001 and cinema admission in the UK and Australia from 1976 to 2006. v.1

Charts A and B show the share of the UK and Australian cinema market in 2001 and cinema admission in the UK and Australia from 1976 to 2006. v. 1
The bar chart presents data on the origin of films which were screened in Australia and the UK in 2001 while the line graph compares the number of cinema attendants in these two countries between 1976 and 2006. Overall, Australian and Britsh theatres were dominated by American movies during the period, and more British went to movie theatres than their Australian counterparts between 1976 and 2005. As the data suggests, more than 75% movies that were released in the UK theatres in 2001 were produced in the USA while 20% were locally made. Besides, almost one in ten movies screened in the UK was produced in Australia. A similar movie screening trend could be observed in Australia in this year where American movies commanded the theatres with a 65% ratio. Australians could watch fewer UK-made movies as only one in twenty British films made it to Australian halls. Interestingly, locally produced films in Australia were ignorable in percentage - as their screening ratio suggests. It is obvious that more Brits enjoyed cinemas in a theatre than Australians did between 1976 and 2005. In 1975, over 100 million British watched movies in halls while this was just around 30 million in Australia. With some fluctuations, Australian movie-goers' number reached over 80 million after 3 decades. On the contrary, British cinema attendees dropped from 1977 to 1984, but afterwards steadily went up with some minor vacillations. After 30 years, almost 160 million British went to cinema halls- almost double than that of Australians.
The bar chart presents data on the origin of films which
were screened
in Australia and the UK in 2001 while the line graph compares the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
attendants in these two countries between 1976 and 2006.

Overall
, Australian and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Britsh
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
were dominated
by American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
during the period, and more British went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
than their Australian counterparts between 1976 and 2005.

As the data suggests, more than 75%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
that
were released
in the UK
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
in 2001
were produced
in the USA while 20% were
locally
made.
Besides
, almost one in ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
screened in the UK
was produced
in Australia. A similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
screening trend could
be observed
in Australia in this
It is better to use 'year' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "year when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
year where
American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
commanded the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
with a 65% ratio. Australians could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
fewer UK-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one in twenty British films made it to Australian halls.
Interestingly
,
locally
produced films in Australia were ignorable in percentage
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
as their screening ratio suggests.

It is obvious that more Brits enjoyed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
than Australians did between 1976 and 2005. In 1975, over 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in halls while this was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
around 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in Australia. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations, Australian movie-goers' number reached over 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
after 3 decades.
On the contrary
, British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
attendees dropped from 1977 to 1984,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
afterwards
steadily
went up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minor vacillations. After 30 years, almost 160
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
British went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
halls- almost
Use "doubler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
double
than that of Australians.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS academic Charts A and B show the share of the UK and Australian cinema market in 2001 and cinema admission in the UK and Australia from 1976 to 2006. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts