Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The charts below show the average annual spending for Canadian households in the year 1972 and the year 2002. v.2

The charts below show the average annual spending for Canadian households in the year 1972 and the year 2002. v. 2
The given pie charts compare the amount of money Canadian people used for various households in 1972 and 2002. In general, the sending on Food, Petro, Furniture, and Books witnessed downward trends while the amount consumed for other items decreased over the period. In addition, Canadians used the largest amount for Food in 1972, but the priority changed after the 30-year period for Cars. In 1972, a majority of the spending was for Food (39%) and was 17% more than the amount for Cars. Following that were the figures for Furniture and Petro, making up 11% and 10% respectively. Canadians spent a small minority (under 10%) of their expenditure on the others namely: Restaurants, Computers, and Books. Thirty years later, there was a dramatic increase of 18% in the payment for Cars. With an enormous reduction and increase correspondingly, both Food and Restaurants received the same amount of spending and were the second biggest part, with 14% for each. Likewise, people living in Canada used a similar volume for Petrol and Furniture (9%). Whereas the percentage of Computers climbed slightly by 8% from 3% in 1972, that of Books fell to only 3% from 7% in 1972.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts compare the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of money Canadian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for various households in 1972 and 2002.

In general
, the sending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Petro
, Furniture, and Books witnessed downward trends while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
consumed for other items decreased over the period.
In addition
, Canadians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
in 1972,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the priority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
after the 30-year period for Cars.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
1972, a majority of the spending was for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
(39%) and was 17% more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
for Cars. Following that were the figures for Furniture and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Petro
, making up 11% and 10%
respectively
. Canadians spent a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
minority (under 10%) of their expenditure on the others
namely
: Restaurants, Computers, and Books.

Thirty years later, there was a dramatic increase of 18% in the payment for Cars. With an enormous reduction and increase
correspondingly
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
and Restaurants received the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of spending and were the second biggest part, with 14% for each.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in Canada
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a similar volume for Petrol and Furniture (9%). Whereas the percentage of Computers climbed
slightly
by 8% from 3% in 1972, that of Books fell to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3% from 7% in 1972.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The charts below show the average annual spending for Canadian households in the year 1972 and the year 2002. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts