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The bar charts below show the average of annual working hours and the average duration of holidays in five European countries. v.2

The bar charts below show the average of annual working hours and the average duration of holidays in five European countries. v. 2
The bar graphs outline the average duration of working hours and holidays in France, UK, Finland, Germany and Switzerland. Generally speaking, Germans work more hours annually and enjoy the least duration of holidays and the reverse is true for the working hours and holiday ratio in Switzerland. The data in the first bar graph reveals that Germans have the highest number of office hours, around 1900 hours in a year for an employee, which is significantly higher than that of a Swiss employee. The least working hours could be observed in Switzerland which accounts for 1200 hours per person per year. An English work for over 1600 hours per year which is around 1500 and 1600 for French and Finns respectively. The second bar graph shows that, despite having the highest working hours, Germans have the least duration of holidays, 120 hours annually. Interestingly, Swiss employees are offered the highest holiday duration in spite of their least duration of office hours. The duration of holidays is almost the same in England and Finland, 140 hours roughly, but it is around 155 hours in France.
The bar graphs outline the average
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duration
of
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working
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hours
and
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holidays
in France, UK, Finland, Germany and Switzerland.
Generally
speaking, Germans work more
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hours
annually
and enjoy the least
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duration
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
and the reverse is true for the
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working
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hours
and
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holiday
ratio in Switzerland.

The data in the
first
bar graph reveals that Germans have the highest number of office
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hours
, around 1900
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hours
in a year for an employee, which is
significantly
higher than that of a Swiss employee. The least
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working
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hours
could
be observed
in Switzerland which accounts for 1200
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hours
per person per year. An English work for over 1600
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hours
per year which is around 1500 and 1600 for French and Finns
respectively
.

The second bar graph
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shows
that, despite having the highest
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working
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hours
, Germans have the least
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duration
of
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holidays
, 120
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hours
annually
.
Interestingly
, Swiss employees
are offered
the highest
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holiday
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duration
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in spite of
their least
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duration
of office
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hours
. The
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duration
of
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holidays
is almost the same in England and Finland, 140
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hours
roughly,
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but
it is around 155
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hours
in France.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS academic The bar charts below show the average of annual working hours and the average duration of holidays in five European countries. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
184 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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