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The charts below show reasons for travel and the main issues for the travelling public in the US in 2009 v.2

The charts below show reasons for travel and the main issues for the travelling public in the US in 2009 v. 2
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of reasons why residents travel in the year of 2009 measured in the United State, while the provided pie chart compares the figure for some essential matter for using public transportation. It can clearly be seen that the number of presidents travel to work reached the highest percentage of the reason for moving. Furthermore, the fares for public transport tickets were one of the most significant matter when people choosing to used public vehicles. According to the given information, in the conducted survey, 49% was the number of Americans travel to work compared to just 19% of private purposes and 16% going shopping. Besides, coming to visit friends or relatives reached the lowest proportion (6%), which was just nearly a half of that number of people going to social or entertain reasons. As illustrated, 36% was the percentage of Americans caring about the costs of the public transportation, which outnumbered that number for the matter about safety during travelling and combative between drivers (19% and 17%. relatively). Traffic jam in highways accounted for 14% of the main issues, followed by 8% of accessing to the public transport. Americans witnessed just 6% of inhabitants worried about the issue of space for footpassenger.
The bar graph illustrates the proportion of reasons why residents travel in the year of 2009 measured in the United State, while the provided pie chart compares the figure for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential matter for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.

It can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of presidents travel to work reached the highest percentage of the reason for moving.
Furthermore
, the fares for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport tickets were one of the most significant matter when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
vehicles.

According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information, in the conducted survey, 49% was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of Americans travel to work compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
19% of private purposes and 16% going shopping.
Besides
, coming to visit friends or relatives reached the lowest proportion (6%), which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
nearly
a half of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going to social or entertain reasons.

As illustrated, 36% was the percentage of Americans caring about the costs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation, which outnumbered that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
for the matter about safety during travelling and combative between drivers (19% and 17%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
relatively
). Traffic jam in highways accounted for 14% of the main issues, followed by 8% of accessing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport. Americans witnessed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
6% of inhabitants worried about the issue of space for
Possible spelling mistake found.
footpassenger
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below show reasons for travel and the main issues for the travelling public in the US in 2009 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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