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The bar charts illustrate the alterations and differences in the average percentages of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA. v.2

The bar charts illustrate the alterations and differences in the average percentages of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA. v. 2
The bar charts illustrate the alterations and differences in the average percentages of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA. Overall, most unhealthy nutrients were consumed at dinner which contained the largest portion of sodium accounted for 43%, the second contribution was saturated fat about 37%. Breakfast was likely to be the healthiest meal in a day due to all the smallest proportions of 3 nutrients were belong to the meal in the morning, at 14% to 16% daily average contributions. Meanwhile, Americans took a lot of sodium and saturated fats for lunch, about 29% and 26% respectively. And added sugar had a smaller portion in lunch at only 19%, while the largest added sugars consumption in the day were for snacks, accounted for a quarter of total added sugars consumed. In conclusion, Americans ate breakfast with the less unhealthy nutrients while dinner was compounded with a significant amount of nutrients that harmful.
The bar charts illustrate the alterations and differences in the average percentages of sodium, saturated fats and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
in typical meals consumed in the USA.

Overall
, most unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
were consumed
at dinner which contained the largest portion of sodium accounted for 43%, the second contribution
was saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
about 37%.

Breakfast was likely to be the healthiest meal in a day due to all the smallest proportions of 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
were
Consider using a past participle here: "belonged".
belong
to the meal in the morning, at 14% to 16% daily average contributions. Meanwhile, Americans took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
sodium and saturated fats for lunch, about 29% and 26%
respectively
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
had a smaller portion in lunch at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
19%, while the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
consumption in the day were for snacks, accounted for a quarter of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
consumed.

In conclusion
, Americans ate breakfast with the less unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
while dinner
was compounded
with a significant amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
that harmful.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Roger Bacon

IELTS academic The bar charts illustrate the alterations and differences in the average percentages of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars in typical meals consumed in the USA. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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