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The charts below gives information about number of road accidents in Someland between 1983 1995 Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below Write at least 150 words v.2

The charts below gives information about number of road accidents in Someland between 1983 1995 Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below v. 2
The graph illustrates the figure for road accidents which occurred in Someland over a period of 12 years from 1983. It can be clearly seen that there was a reduction in the figure for road accidents from 1983 to 1995. In the period 1983 – 1984, the figure for road accidents remained constant over 4 million of accidents before going through a significant growth of 2. 6 million of accidents and reached the highest point of 6. 8 million of accidents in 1986. The figure for road accidents declined sharply from 6. 8 million to 3. 2 million of accidents, which was followed by a fluctuation around 3. 5 million of accident between 1987 and 1992, In this period, the figure for road accidents hit the lowest point of 2. 8 million of accidents in 1991. The figure for road accidents experienced a substantial decrease from 4 million to 3 million of accidents between 1992 to 1995.
The graph illustrates the
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figure
for
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road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
which occurred in
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Someland
over a period of 12 years from 1983.

It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there was a reduction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
from 1983 to 1995.

In the period 1983 – 1984, the
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figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
remained constant over 4
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million
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going through a significant growth of 2. 6
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million
of
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accidents
and reached the highest point of 6. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
in 1986. The
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figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
declined
sharply
from 6. 8
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million
to 3. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
, which
was followed
by a fluctuation around 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
between 1987 and 1992, In this period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
hit the lowest point of 2. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
in 1991.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
experienced a substantial decrease from 4
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million
to 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1992 and 1995".
between 1992 to 1995
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS academic The charts below gives information about number of road accidents in Someland between 1983 1995 Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information below v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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