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The charts A and B show the share of the UK and Australian cinema market in 2001 and cinema admission in the UK and Australia from 1976 to 2006 Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below v.2

The charts A and B show the share of the UK and Australian cinema market in 2001 and cinema admission in the UK and Australia from 1976 to 2006 Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below v. 2
There are two graphs, the upper bar graph shows the the the Country origin of the films and groups them into Australian, UK US and Other that has been shown in theaters UK and Australia in year 2001 and the bottom line graph compares the cinema audiences in millions between 1975 to 2005 in Uk and Australia. Overall in year 2001 US films outnumbers the total of other countries in both Australia and UK, and from 1985 and on there is a increasing trend of audiences in both UK and Australia. Graph a depicts that in year 2001 in Australia 65 per cent of films are made in US which followed by others category with 18 per cent. Both UK and Australian films comprises less than 10 per cent, in contrast, In UK vast majority of films are produced in US reaching 75 percent. Uk films are presenting the second group with reaching 20 percent. When we look at second graph which provides us information about the number of audiences, cinema viewers in UK started from 100 millions and reached 120 millions in year 1977 and went down to 60 million in1985 where it makes its nadir. In contrast to this in Australia, although the number of audiences were far less than UK, it followed a quite steady state till 1985 between 20 to 40 million. From 1985 and on there is an increasing trend of audiences in both countries where it ended with 160 millions in UK and 80 million in Australia. To sum up there is a major dominancy of US films in both countries and although the audiences in UK surpasses Australia there is an increasing trend of cinema admissions in both countries for the last 20 years.
There are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graphs
, the upper bar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
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Country
origin of the films and groups them into Australian, UK US and Other that has
been shown
in theaters UK and Australia in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2001 and the bottom line
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graph
compares the cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1975 and 2005".
between 1975 to 2005
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
and Australia.
Overall
in
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year
2001 US films outnumbers the total of other
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countries
in both Australia and UK, and from 1985 and on there is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
increasing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
in both UK and Australia.

Graph a depicts that in
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year
2001 in Australia 65 per cent of films
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
made in US which followed by
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "others'" or "other's"?
others
category with 18 per cent. Both UK and Australian films comprises less than 10 per cent,
in contrast
, In UK vast majority of films
are produced
in US reaching 75 percent.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
films are presenting the second group with reaching 20 percent.

When we look at second
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graph
which provides us information about the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
, cinema viewers in UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 100
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millions
and reached 120
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millions
in
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year
1977 and went down to 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in1985 where it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
its nadir.
In contrast
to this in Australia, although the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
were far less than UK, it followed a quite steady state till 1985
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 20 and 40".
between 20 to 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. From 1985 and on there is an increasing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where it ended with 160
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millions
in UK and 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in Australia.

To sum up there is a major
Possible spelling mistake found.
dominancy
of US films in both
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countries
and although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
audiences
in UK surpasses Australia there is an increasing trend of cinema admissions in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for the last 20 years.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS academic The charts A and B show the share of the UK and Australian cinema market in 2001 and cinema admission in the UK and Australia from 1976 to 2006 Write a report for a university lecture describing the information shown below v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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