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The chart bellow shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008 v.2

The chart bellow shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008 v. 2
The provided bar chart presents information about how many people in the UK have fruits and vegetables five times a day over the period 2001 to 2008. The given data measured in percent. Women had the highest percentage of eating such health food throughout the period from about 23% in 2001 to a little more 30% in 2005. After peaking at 40% the following year, this trend had fallen to the 2005 figure by 2008. Speaking about men, after 16% plateau between 2001 and 2003 there was a sharp decrease from 22% to 27% and then a slight decline with 26% figure had followed by the end of period. As far as youngsters concerned, they had the similar situation like men with only difference of 10 points less in every year over the period in question. With the exceptional of two last years when the gap between men and children had been shorten to 5 %. To sum up, although vegetable and fruit diet was popular most of all among women in 2006, the gap between the three categories had narrowed considerably over the last three years.
The provided bar chart presents information about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the UK have fruits and vegetables five times a day over the period 2001 to 2008. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data measured in percent.

Women had the highest percentage of eating such health food throughout the period from about 23% in 2001 to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more 30% in 2005. After peaking at 40% the following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, this trend had fallen to the 2005 figure by 2008. Speaking about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, after 16% plateau between 2001 and 2003 there was a sharp decrease from 22% to 27% and then a slight decline with 26% figure had followed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of period.

As far as youngsters concerned, they had the similar situation like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
difference of 10 points less in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
over the period in question. With
The phrase 'the exceptional of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the exceptional of
two last years when the gap between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and children had been
Consider using a past participle here: "shortened".
shorten
to 5 %.

To sum up, although vegetable and fruit diet was popular most of all among women in 2006, the gap between the three categories had narrowed
considerably
over the last three years.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The chart bellow shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruit and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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