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The picture below shows the Use of renewable energy accounting for the total energy from 1971 to 2006 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main feature and make comparison where relevant v.2

The picture below shows the Use of renewable energy accounting for the total energy from 1971 to 2006
The given line graph illustrations the information about utilisation of renewable energy sources of Total amount of energy between 1971 and 2006 in Finland, Denmark, Germany, France, United Kingdom and United States. Overall, it is clear that maximum amount of renewable energy was consumed by Finland; however, the United Kingdom was the lowest energy user over given period. It is apparent that use of energy in every country depicted a upward tendency. To begin with, energy used by Finland was peaked in initial year which was about 25% of total energy; whereas, in following years it experienced fluctuations and reached at similar point (25%)till 2006. The renewable energy consumption in Denmark witnessed a small drip in 1936, then followed by moderate incline It is interesting to note that in unites states the usage of every was only about 8% during 1971. In contrast, after fluctuations till 1991, it inclined significantly and reached at more than 15%. Probing further, similar trend was followed by Germany and France in using renewable energy and reached at nearby a tenth till last year. Surprising, negligible use of energy was made by United Kingdom in first year than it increased slowly until 2006.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
line graph illustrations the information about
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
sources of Total amount of
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energy
between 1971 and 2006 in Finland, Denmark, Germany, France,
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United
Kingdom and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
States.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that maximum amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was consumed
by Finland;
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
Kingdom was the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
user over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. It is apparent that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in every country depicted
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
upward tendency.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by Finland
was peaked
in initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
which was about 25% of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
; whereas, in following years it experienced fluctuations and reached at similar point (25%)till 2006. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
consumption in Denmark witnessed a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
drip in 1936, then followed by moderate
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
incline


It is interesting to note that in unites states the usage of every was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 8% during 1971.
In contrast
, after fluctuations till 1991, it inclined
significantly
and reached at more than 15%.

Probing
further
, similar trend
was followed
by Germany and France in using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and reached at nearby a tenth till last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Surprising, negligible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
was made
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
Kingdom in
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
than it increased
slowly
until 2006.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The picture below shows the Use of renewable energy accounting for the total energy from 1971 to 2006

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
198 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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