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The charts show information concerning speed camera use together with statistics on road accidents for the city of Melbourne v.1

The charts show information concerning speed camera use together with statistics on road accidents for the city of Melbourne v. 1
The chart illustrates the count of speed-cameras and the ratio of accidents and deaths in Melbourne' s street from 2002 to 2005. Overall, The use of the cameras in a road are in increasing order, along with the survival of people are raising at the end but no impact for accidents level. In the year 2002, There were nearly 40 cameras installed on the roads, and the survival ratio is beneath 1% also the accident level is about 3%. Next year the capturing devices count raised by 5, but the proportion of the deaths are likely to be idle, whereas the accidental level is fluctuating till the end of a year. Till the half of 2004 the accident proportion and death proportions are declining, but in the second half, it level-up slightly then initial value. The installations of the cameras are rosed up by 30% than in the year 2003. Lately, in the year 2005, the roads are more secure than earlier after the installation of nearly 140 cameras. In case of death, it moved up quickly and pursued about 1. 5% of death percentage, for the accident, the number is steadily rising up by 3. 2% till the end of the year 2005.
The chart illustrates the count of speed-cameras and the ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
and deaths in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Melbourne&
#039; s street from 2002 to 2005.

Overall
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in a road are in increasing order, along with the survival of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are raising at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no impact for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
level.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002, There were
nearly
40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
installed on the roads, and the survival ratio is beneath 1%
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
level is about 3%.
Next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
the capturing devices count raised by 5,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the proportion of the deaths are likely to be idle, whereas the accidental level is fluctuating till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of a year.

Till the half of 2004 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
proportion and death proportions are declining,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the second half, it level-up
slightly
then initial value. The installations of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
rosed
up by 30% than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2003. Lately, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005, the roads are more secure than earlier after the installation of
nearly
140
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
. In case of death, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
up
quickly
and pursued about 1. 5% of death percentage, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
, the number is
steadily
rising up by 3. 2% till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2005.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The charts show information concerning speed camera use together with statistics on road accidents for the city of Melbourne v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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