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Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v.12

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v. 12
In recent years, historical places have been received a lot of attractive from tourists, not local people. Given that this case leads to a whole loose of knowledge for people, identifying the reason behind it is key to finding the solutions. There are a number of reasons why locals do not visit historical places. Since they knew all about it through their parents, history subject in school, they feel it is unnecessary to broaden their horizons in this aspect. Plus, because of the way people learn history in the past, almost all people, thereby, decided to avoid their country' s history. Moreover, people must pay an amount of money to stay in these places. For example, in my town, it costs from 30. 000 to 40. 000 VND per person that is quite expensive for the locals. Nevertheless, there are also a variety of solutions to attract more local communities to visit these places. First, the presidents of these places should have some active ways to attract people. By updating the collection, organizing some marketing champions in social media, newspapers which can help to improve the figure of local visitors. Second, government should actively help them by decrease or free the entrance fee for local people. This will give them a chance to explore the country' s history. In conclusion, even though the number of local visitors is pretty low compared to tourists in recent years, there are various ways to make it higher. Advertisement and cut the entrance fee can be two of the most effective ways to attract local visitors.
In recent years, historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
have
been received
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
attractive from tourists, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that this case leads to a whole loose of knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, identifying the reason behind it is key to
Did you mean "find"?
finding
the solutions.

There are a number of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
do not visit historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Since they knew all about it through their parents, history subject in school, they feel it is unnecessary to broaden their horizons in this aspect. Plus,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn history in the past, almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, thereby, decided to avoid their
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s history.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay an amount of money to stay in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
For example
, in my town, it costs from 30. 000 to 40. 000 VND per person
that is
quite expensive for the locals.

Nevertheless
, there are
also
a variety of solutions to attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities to visit these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
First
, the presidents of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By updating the collection, organizing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
marketing champions in social media, newspapers which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors. Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
actively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them by decrease or free the entrance fee for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This will give them a chance to explore the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s history.

In conclusion
,
even though
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors is pretty low compared to tourists in recent years, there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it higher. Advertisement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the entrance fee can be two of the most effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places? v. 12

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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