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The chart shows the percentage of car manufacturer s total car sales in different regions from 2006 to 2010 v.2

The chart shows the percentage of car manufacturer s total car sales in different regions from 2006 to 2010 v. 2
The bar chart gives information about the total car sales in distinct geographical areas in the 2006-2010 period. Overall, it is clear that European companies had the highest sales between 2006 and 2010, while the sales of South American companies was the lowest. Besides, the number of cars were sold in Europe had an increasing trend, compared to decreasing trend of North America at the same period. In 2006, 35% of total cars were sold in Asia, which was higher than that of Europe, at only 25%. Nevertheless, after 4 years, the figure of Europe had a dramatic growth, to 50% in 2010, while the figure of Asia dropped to exactly 30% in 2010, in spite of a slight increase to 38% in 2008. Although the number of cars was deliveried in North American market was higher than both Europe and South America, by 4% and 18%, the figure of North America constantly dropped from 2006 to 2008 and become the lowest one in 2010, at only 9%. In contrast, although South America experienced a significant decrease in 2007 and 2008, the total car sales of this area recovered to 11% in 2010.
The bar chart gives information about the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in distinct geographical areas in the 2006-2010 period.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that European
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
between 2006 and 2010, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of South American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
was the lowest.
Besides
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
were sold
in Europe had an increasing trend, compared to decreasing trend of North America at the same period.

In 2006, 35% of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
were sold
in Asia, which was higher than that of Europe, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
25%.
Nevertheless
, after 4 years, the figure of Europe had a dramatic growth, to 50% in 2010, while the figure of Asia dropped to exactly 30% in 2010,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
a slight increase to 38% in 2008.

Although the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
deliveried
in North American market was higher than both Europe and South America, by 4% and 18%, the figure of North America
constantly
dropped from 2006 to 2008 and become the lowest one in 2010, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
9%.
In contrast
, although South America experienced a significant decrease in 2007 and 2008, the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of this area recovered to 11% in 2010.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The chart shows the percentage of car manufacturer s total car sales in different regions from 2006 to 2010 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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