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The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Australia between 1995 anhd 2000. v.2

The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Australia between 1995 anhd 2000. v. 2
The line graph illustrates the expenditure on books of four different countries from 1995 to 2005. It is evident that the wages used to buy books increased in all four countries and Germanny was the country spent the most money on books. In 1995, Italian only spent exactly 50 millions on books. This figure rose to 55 millions in 1997 then fell slightly to less than 50 millions before reached a peak of 62 millions in 2005 which is the lowest number among four contries. In constrast, from the lowest spending in 1995, at 30 millions, the money Australian spent on books increased steadily to 40 millions in 1999 and grown sharply to more than 70 millions at the end of the period, slightly higher than that of Italian. French spent 55 millions on buying books in 1995 then this figure rose to 70 millions in 2001 and reached 75 millions in 2005. The money German used for books increased from 80 millions at the beginning to 95 millions at the end of period after decreased slightly to 85 millions in 2003. This figure remained the highest one thoughout 10 - year period.
The line graph illustrates the expenditure on
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books
of four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries from 1995 to 2005.

It is evident that the wages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
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books
increased in all four countries and
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Germanny
was the country
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spent
the most money on books.

In 1995, Italian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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spent
exactly 50
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millions
on
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books
. This figure rose to 55
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millions
in 1997 then fell
slightly
to less than 50
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millions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reached a peak of 62
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millions
in 2005 which is the lowest number among four
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contries
. In
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constrast
, from the lowest spending in 1995, at 30
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millions
, the money Australian
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spent
on
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books
increased
steadily
to 40
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millions
in 1999 and grown
sharply
to more than 70
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millions
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period,
slightly
higher than that of Italian.

French
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spent
55
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millions
on buying
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books
in 1995 then this figure rose to 70
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millions
in 2001 and reached 75
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millions
in 2005. The money German
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
increased from 80
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millions
at the beginning to 95
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of period after decreased
slightly
to 85
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millions
in 2003. This figure remained the highest one
Possible spelling mistake found.
thoughout
10
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
year period.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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IELTS academic The graph shows the amount of money spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Australia between 1995 anhd 2000. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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