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The table below shows the proportions of people using several mobile phone functions between 2006 and 2010. v.2

The table below shows the proportions of people using several mobile phone functions between 2006 and 2010. v. 2
The table below shows the proportions of people using several mobile phone functions between 2006 and 2010. Overall, except making calls and playing games, the percentages of owners using others phone’s features tend to increase over 4 years. The most popular of function was the making calls. Although all users used their phone for making calls in 2006 and 2008, the percentage of using this service decreased slightly to 99% which was still the highest point in 2010. While the rates of playing games rose quickly from 17% (2006) to 42% (2008) before reduced to 41% (2010), the proportion of searching the Internet went up dramatically from no data (2006) to 73% (2010). The rates of playing music and recording video also climbed rapidly from 12% and no data (2006) to 26% and 35% (2010), respectively. Besides, there was a slow increase in the percentage of taking photos and commuting by text messages from 66% and 73% (2006) to just over three-fourths (2010), respectively.
The table below
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the proportions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using several mobile phone functions between 2006 and 2010.

Overall
, except making calls and playing games, the percentages of owners using others phone’s features tend to increase over 4 years. The most popular of function was the making calls.

Although all users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their phone for making calls in 2006 and 2008, the percentage of using this service decreased
slightly
to 99% which was
still
the highest point in 2010. While the rates of playing games rose
quickly
from 17% (2006) to 42% (2008)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 41% (2010), the proportion of searching the Internet went up
dramatically
from no data (2006) to 73% (2010).

The rates of playing music and recording video
also
climbed
rapidly
from 12% and no data (2006) to 26% and 35% (2010),
respectively
.
Besides
, there was a slow increase in the percentage of taking photos and commuting by text messages from 66% and 73% (2006) to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over three-fourths (2010),
respectively
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The table below shows the proportions of people using several mobile phone functions between 2006 and 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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