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Many people think regions affect successful persons. What is your opinion about native regions and accomplished person influence on the regions they belong to v.2

Many people think regions affect successful persons. What is your opinion about native regions and accomplished person influence on the regions they belong to v. 2
There can be many factors behind a successful person but upbringing and surrounding are main factors with which person can make his journey easy and successful. We will discuss both positive and negative influences of regions on any person growth. To start with, a person who live in good society and attend proper schooling in his or her early days can be assured to get into right path and become successful in his life. Environment and native places play a key role in bringing out confidence, patience and fighting skills in any person. Native place also play a vital role in defining the attitude of a person for example one who lives in village on his early days and then move to metro cities, can handle things much easier and confidently than who lives in metro cities and due to any reason has to move to rural areas. On other side spending times in different regions with different communities and different type of people definitely nourish leadership quality of person and confidence to lead groups of people. Mahatma Gandhi who was great Indian leader is an example who travelled a lot and spent time among number of communities and groups and finally lead the India to Freedom. To conclude, regions can be one factor like many others to make a person successful but definitely can not be only thing with which a person can become successful.
There can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors behind a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
upbringing and surrounding are main factors with which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his journey easy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. We will discuss both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences of regions on any
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person
growth.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
society and attend proper schooling in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
early days can
be assured
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into right path and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in his life. Environment and native places play a key role in bringing out confidence, patience and fighting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. Native place
also
play a vital role in defining the attitude of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
for example
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in village on his early days and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to metro cities, can handle things much easier and
confidently
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in metro cities and due to any reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to rural areas.

On other side spending times in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
regions with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
communities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
definitely nourish leadership quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and confidence to lead groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Mahatma Gandhi
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was great Indian leader is an example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
travelled a lot and spent time among number of communities and groups and
finally
lead the India to Freedom.

To conclude
, regions can be one factor like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
definitely can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing with which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS academic Many people think regions affect successful persons. What is your opinion about native regions and accomplished person influence on the regions they belong to v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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