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The chart shows the percentage of car manufacturer s total sales in North America South America Europe and Asia v.2

The chart shows the percentage of car manufacturer s total sales in North America South America Europe and Asia v. 2
The bar chart compares the portions of the total car sales earned by the car manufacturer in 4 regions between 2006 and 2010. Generally, South America accounted for the least proportion of 4 areas’ overall car sales for 4 years. In addition, Europe was the only region showing a rise in the whole period shown. In 2006, Asia was prominent in total car sales with 35%, compared to a quarter of Europe. The figure for North and South America were 29% and 11%, respectively. In the following year, while Europe made a 9% increase in its portion, North and South America experience a 6% decrease each and the percentage of Asia remained stable. The year 2008 witnessed minor changes in the percentage of car manufacturer’s total car sales but the year 2009, however, saw significant differences in those figures. Indeed, North American and Asia lose 13% and 8% of their proportions in 2009 in comparison to 2008, while South America gained a 5% rise in the same period. Especially, Europe leapt from 34% to 50% of the total car sales, the highest proportion among 4 regions of all time.
The bar chart compares the portions of the
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total
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car
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sales
earned by the
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car
manufacturer in 4 regions between 2006 and 2010.

Generally
, South America accounted for the least proportion of 4 areas’
overall
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car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for 4 years.
In addition
, Europe was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
region showing a rise in the whole period shown.

In 2006, Asia was prominent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
with 35%, compared to a quarter of Europe. The figure for North and South America were 29% and 11%,
respectively
. In the following
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year
, while Europe made a 9% increase in its portion, North and South America experience a 6% decrease each and the percentage of Asia remained stable.

The
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year
2008 witnessed minor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the percentage of
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car
manufacturer’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
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year
2009,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
significant differences in those figures.
Indeed
, North American and Asia lose 13% and 8% of their proportions in 2009
in comparison
to 2008, while South America gained a 5% rise in the same period.
Especially
, Europe leapt from 34% to 50% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, the highest proportion among 4 regions of all time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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Victor Hugo

IELTS academic The chart shows the percentage of car manufacturer s total sales in North America South America Europe and Asia v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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