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The chart shows the number of students in the UK universities who completed (on time or late) failed to write and rewrote their dissertation in 1990, 2000, 2010. v.2

The chart shows the number of students in the UK universities who completed (on time or late) failed to write and rewrote their dissertation in 1990, 2000, 2010. v. 2
The bar chart given illustrates the information about how many students studied in Britain universities who finished the thesis the postgraduate over the course of 20 years from 1990 to 2010. Overall, what stands out from the chart is that a majority of students completed their dissertation on time, whereas there were still some students who failed and had to rewrite it. In 1990, the number of students handed in their dissertation projects on time for the highest percentage with roughly 50 students. However, there was a similarity in both a handed in the thesis not punctually and rewrote again, approximately 25 students. After 10 years, some progress was made with an increase in those completed the projects, about 115 students and 50 students ending on time and later, respectively. The corresponding figures for students who failed to write also declined, from under 50 to 40 students in 2000. Lastly, in 2010, more and more students finished their postgraduate thesis on time, at 170. Meanwhile, the rate of handing in projects later saw remains stable. At this time, students were also more successful and hard-working, with only 30 and 10 failed to write and rewrote the projects.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustrates the information about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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students
studied in Britain universities who finished the thesis the postgraduate over the course of 20 years from 1990 to 2010.

Overall
, what stands out from the chart is that a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
completed their dissertation on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, whereas there were
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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students
who failed and had to rewrite it.

In 1990, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
handed in their dissertation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the highest percentage with roughly 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, there was a similarity in both a handed in the thesis not
punctually
and rewrote again, approximately 25 students.

After 10 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
progress
was made
with an increase in those completed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
, about 115
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students
and 50
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students
ending on
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time
and later,
respectively
. The corresponding figures for
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students
who failed to write
also
declined, from under 50 to 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2000.

Lastly
, in 2010, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
finished their postgraduate thesis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, at 170. Meanwhile, the rate of handing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
remains stable. At this
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time
,
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students
were
also
more successful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30 and 10 failed to write and rewrote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS academic The chart shows the number of students in the UK universities who completed (on time or late) failed to write and rewrote their dissertation in 1990, 2000, 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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