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THE GRAPH BELOW THE CONTRIBUTION OF THREE SECTORS - AGRICULTURE, MANUFACTURING, AND BUSINESSES AND FINANCIAL SERVICES - TO THE UK ECONOMY IN THE TWENTIETH CENTURY. v.2

THE GRAPH BELOW THE CONTRIBUTION OF THREE SECTORS - AGRICULTURE, MANUFACTURING, AND BUSINESSES AND FINANCIAL SERVICES - TO THE UK ECONOMY IN THE TWENTIETH CENTURY. v. 2
The bar chart illustrates data about the amount of impact of various factors to the economic United Kingdom from 1900 to 2000. Overall, what stands out from the graph is that there was a downward trend in manufacturing while the other figures rose over the period in the question. As regards agriculture, this figure reached a peak of around 50%, and then there was a considerable fluctuation between 1900 and 2000. Following this, the percentage of agriculture bottomed out at just under 5% in 2000. This was the same for manufacturing. It started at just over 45% in 1900 before decreasing significantly, at approximately 15% in 2000. Turning to the details, The business and financial began to the lowest, at just 5%. However, these figures rose dramatically and reached a peak of about 35% in 2000. In conclusion, it is noticeable that both agriculture and manufacture had a downturn whereas there was a huge contribution in business and finance to the economy of the United Kingdom over the 20 years.
The bar chart illustrates data about the amount of impact of various factors to the economic United Kingdom from 1900 to 2000.

Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that there was a downward trend in manufacturing while the other figures rose over the period in the question.

As regards agriculture, this figure reached a peak of around 50%, and then there was a considerable fluctuation between 1900 and 2000. Following this, the percentage of agriculture bottomed out at
just
under 5% in 2000. This was the same for manufacturing. It
started
at
just
over 45% in 1900
before
decreasing
significantly
, at approximately 15% in 2000.

Turning to the
details
, The business and financial began to the lowest, at
just
5%.
However
, these figures rose
dramatically
and reached a peak of about 35% in 2000.

In conclusion
, it is noticeable that both agriculture and manufacture had a downturn whereas there was a huge contribution in business and finance to the economy of the United Kingdom over the 20 years.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic THE GRAPH BELOW THE CONTRIBUTION OF THREE SECTORS - AGRICULTURE, MANUFACTURING, AND BUSINESSES AND FINANCIAL SERVICES - TO THE UK ECONOMY IN THE TWENTIETH CENTURY. v. 2

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
170 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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