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The chart show the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. v.1

The chart show the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. v. 1
The bar chart compares the percentage of men and women teachers in six kinds of educational institution in the UK in 2010. In general terms, women were more likely to hold the more typically maternal role of teaching young childrens. In contrast, men predominated in the higher status teaching role of university lecturer. It is clear from the bar chart shows that in 2010, females predominated in schools for children. This was particularly true of schools for very young. Females accounted over 95% of nursery school teachers. The figure was similarly in primary school, where over 90% of teachers were women while the percentage of men teachers accounted only under 5% and under 10% od pre-school and primary school respectively. On the other hand, males and females were more equally represented in teaching for older children and young adults of secondary schools and colleges. For example, college lecturers were 50% women and 50% men. however, males accounted a larger percentage of teaching in higher-level in stitutions. This was particularly true for universities, where over twice as many males were teaching staff than females.
The bar chart compares the percentage of
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men
and
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women
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teachers
in six kinds of educational institution in the UK in 2010.

In general
terms,
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women
were more likely to hold the more
typically
maternal role of
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teaching
young
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childrens
.
In contrast
,
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men
predominated in the higher status
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teaching
role of university lecturer.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in 2010,
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females
predominated in
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schools
for children. This was
particularly
true of
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schools
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young.
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Females
accounted over 95% of nursery
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school
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teachers
. The figure was
similarly
in primary
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school
, where over 90% of
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teachers
were
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women
while the percentage of
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men
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teachers
accounted
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only
under 5% and under 10%
Possible spelling mistake found.
od
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-school
and primary
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school
respectively
.

On the other hand
, males and
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females
were more
equally
represented in
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teaching
for older children and young adults of secondary
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schools
and colleges.
For example
, college lecturers were 50%
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women
and 50%
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men
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, males accounted a larger percentage of
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teaching
in higher-level in
Possible spelling mistake found.
stitutions
. This was
particularly
true for universities, where over twice as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
males were
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teaching
Use "staffer" to make a comparison with this adjective.
staff
than
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females
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The chart show the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational setting in the UK in 2010. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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