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The chart below shows the total amount of minutes in billions of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2000 v.2

The chart below shows the total amount of minutes in billions of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2000 v. 2
In this century communication is easier than before. we use different way for contact each other. this chart illustrate whole minutes of phone calls in the UK which is categorised in three group (local- fixed line, national and internationalfixed line and mobile), from 1995 to 2002. As it is shown in this figure, the most regular way for communication is local-fixed line. after that is national and international-fixed line and the last one is mobile phone. If you see the trends during 1995 to 2002, you will see local fixed line interest increased untill 1999 and after that its decreased because of new technology which is replaced with it. On the other hand using national and internatiol- fixed line increased during 1995 to 2002, but it' s trend slightly increased. Also, cell phone consumer increased quickly, because of improving technology and it is taken other communication market. overall, between 1995 and 2002, the most important method of communication is local-fixed line, after that is national and international- fixed line and the third method is mobiles.
In this century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way for contact each other.
The verb 'illustrate' is plural. Did you mean: "this chart illustrates"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this chart illustrate
whole minutes of phone calls in the UK which is
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorised' is British English.
categorised
in three group (local-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
internationalfixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
and mobile), from 1995 to 2002.

As it
is shown
in this figure, the most regular way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is local-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
and international-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
and the last one is mobile phone. If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the trends during 1995 to 2002, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
1999 and after that its decreased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of new technology which
is replaced
with it.

On the other hand
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
internatiol
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
during 1995 to 2002,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s trend
slightly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
.
Also
, cell phone consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
quickly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of improving technology and it
is taken
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
market.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, between 1995 and 2002, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is local-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
, after
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
and international-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
and the third method is mobiles.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the total amount of minutes in billions of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2000 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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