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The chart illustrates housing preferences among people who lived in the British cities of London, Oxford and Cambridge in the year 2005. v.2

The chart illustrates housing preferences among people who lived in the British cities of London, Oxford and Cambridge in the year 2005. v. 2
The bar graph represents the preferred housing options by British citizens living in London, Oxford and Cambridge in 2005. Overall, terraced housed were least common while flats were preferred by the majority of British people. It is lucid from the bar graph that flats were the most popular accommodation in London with around 60% people living in them while 20% of people loved living in flats in Cambridge. On the other hand, a little under 20 percent people preferred terraced houses with a majority of them living in Oxford and approximately an equal population living in London and Cambridge. On the contrary, detached houses were least common in London and around 10% of city' s population lived in them. People of Cambridge who lived in detached homes outnumbered people of other two cities living in similar houses. It is evident from the bar graph that an equal number of people from Oxford and Cambridge had semi-detached houses as their housing preference. On the other hand, it was less popular among people of London city with about 20% people residing in them in 2005.
The bar graph represents the preferred housing options by British citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in London, Oxford and Cambridge in 2005.

Overall
, terraced housed were
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
common while flats
were preferred
by the majority of British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

It is lucid from the bar graph that flats were the most popular accommodation in London with around 60%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in them while 20% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in flats in Cambridge.
On the other hand
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
under 20 percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preferred terraced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
with a majority of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in Oxford and approximately an equal population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in London and Cambridge.

On the contrary
, detached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
were least common in London and around 10% of
Possible spelling mistake found.
city&
#039; s population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of Cambridge who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in detached homes outnumbered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of other two cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. It is evident from the bar graph that an equal number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from Oxford and Cambridge had semi-detached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
as their housing preference.
On the other hand
, it was less popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of London city with about 20%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing in them in 2005.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS academic The chart illustrates housing preferences among people who lived in the British cities of London, Oxford and Cambridge in the year 2005. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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