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The chart below shows the total number of minutes in millions of telephone calls in Finland divided into three categories from 1995 2004 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant RE v.2

The chart below shows the total number of minutes in millions of telephone calls in Finland divided into three categories from 1995 2004
The given bar chart provides the information about the time spent by Finland’s citizens in different motivated telephone calls over a period of 9 years, from 1995 to 2004. The minutes spend during calls differentiated in base of the year and also of their specific reason. At a first glance, local calls proved to be the more frequent ones respect to others even if during the considered period have experienced a fluctuating behaviour. In fact, the minutes spent by people in local phone calls passed from 12000 millions in 1995 to 2001, year in which the maximum value was reached. From 2001, the number of minutes steeply dipped to 12000 in 2004. As the data suggest, national and international landlines and mobile calls significantly increased between 1995 and 2004. People who did national and international calls spent around 6000 millions of minutes in 1995 and this number constantly rose up to 10000 millions of minutes in 2004. The mobiles’ figure showed the same but more steep trend reaching just a little less than 10000 millions of minutes in 2004. Overall, the amount of time occupied in phone calls generally increased in time even if the local landlines’ occurrences decrease in favour of the other types of calls.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart provides the information about the time spent by Finland’s citizens in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
motivated telephone
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calls
over a period of 9 years, from 1995 to 2004. The minutes spend during
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calls
differentiated in base of the year and
also
of their specific reason.

At a
first
glance, local
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calls
proved to be the more frequent ones respect to others even if during the considered period have experienced a fluctuating
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. In fact, the minutes spent by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in local phone
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calls
passed from 12000
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millions
in 1995 to 2001, year in which the maximum value
was reached
. From 2001, the number of minutes
steeply
dipped to 12000 in 2004.

As the data suggest, national and international landlines and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
significantly
increased between 1995 and 2004.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who did national and international
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calls
spent around 6000
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millions
of minutes in 1995 and this number
constantly
rose up to 10000
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millions
of minutes in 2004. The mobiles’ figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the same
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but
more steep trend reaching
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just
a
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little
less than 10000
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millions
of minutes in 2004.

Overall
, the amount of time occupied in phone
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calls
generally
increased in time even if the local landlines’ occurrences decrease in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the total number of minutes in millions of telephone calls in Finland divided into three categories from 1995 2004

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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