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The chart below show the proportions of British student at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addtion to English, in 2000 and 2010. v.2

The chart below show the proportions of British student at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addtion to English, in 2000 and 2010. v. 2
The pie charts compare the percentage of the British students who were able to speak other languages than English in 2000 and 2010. Generally, there was a variation in the percentage of England students in terms of speak other languages. Besides, it is obvious that British students at university in England had trend learning Spanish language between 2000 and 2010. It is clear from the pie charts show that in 2000, 20% students in England cannot speak other languages while in 2010, this precentage decreased a half ( 10%). Besides, the percentage of British students who speak two other languages increased from 10% to 15% between 2000 ang 2010. This show that today, students in England had trend learning more languages than in the past. In addition, the percentage of student in British who were able to speak Spanish language accounted the highest proportion ( 30% in 2000 and 35% in 2010). Furthermore, students in university England who were able to speak another languages also rose from 15% to 20% in this period. On the other hand, in 2000, German only and two other languages has the lowest proportion (10%) while in 2010, the percentage of students in England who were able to speak French, German and cannot speak other languages has the lowest proportion ( 10%). It is clearly that the percentage of German only still remained in this period.
The pie charts compare the
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percentage
of the British
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students
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who
were
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able
to
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speak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
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languages
than English in 2000 and 2010.

Generally
, there was a variation in the
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percentage
of England
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students
in terms of
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speak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Besides
, it is obvious that British
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students
at university in England had trend learning Spanish
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language
between 2000 and 2010.

It is
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clear
from the pie charts
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show
that in 2000, 20%
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students
in England cannot
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speak
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other
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languages
while in 2010, this
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precentage
decreased a half
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(
10%).
Besides
, the
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percentage
of British
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students
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who
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speak
two
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other
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languages
increased from 10% to 15% between 2000 ang 2010. This
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show
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
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students
in England had trend learning more
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languages
than in the past.
In addition
, the
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percentage
of
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student
in British
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who
were
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able
to
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speak
Spanish
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language
accounted the highest proportion
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(
30% in 2000 and 35% in 2010).
Furthermore
,
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students
in university England
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who
were
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able
to
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speak
another
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languages
also
rose from 15% to 20% in this period.

On the
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other
hand, in 2000, German
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only
and two
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other
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languages
has the lowest proportion (10%) while in 2010, the
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percentage
of
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students
in England
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who
were
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able
to
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speak
French, German and cannot
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speak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
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languages
has the lowest proportion
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(
10%). It is
clearly
that the
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percentage
of German
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
still
remained in this period.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below show the proportions of British student at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addtion to English, in 2000 and 2010. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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