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The chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 and 2007 v.2

The chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 and 2007 v. 2
The line chart gives information, how much hours youngsters in Chester devote to 7 different events in 7 days between 2002 and 2007. Overall, the most popular activity over the time was watching TV, whereas bowling have experienced the least favorite. At the beginning of the period, adolescents spent 25 hours in 2002 which inclined to the peak in end of the period which was almost 37 hours. Shopping was 7hours in 2002 which got more than doubled in last year. In 2002, the youngsters spent approximately 8hours going to discos and pubs after five years it climbed up to 18hours. On the other hand homework occupied 10 hours which fall to about 7hours. Doing sports fall from 10hours to 3hours from 2002 till 2007. In all the entire period bowling was under 5hours and it quitted on almost 1hours at the end. Over 10hours were dedicated to watching DVDs in the start but it reached to the top over 15 hours in 2002 and 2007 and in the final year it came back to 10 hours.
The line chart gives information, how
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
youngsters in Chester devote to 7
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in 7 days between 2002 and 2007.

Overall
, the most popular activity over the time was watching TV, whereas bowling have experienced the least favorite.

At the beginning of the period, adolescents spent 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in 2002 which inclined to the peak in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period which was almost 37
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Shopping was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
7hours
in 2002 which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more than doubled in last year. In 2002, the youngsters spent approximately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
8hours
going to discos and pubs after five years it climbed up to 18hours.

On the other hand
homework occupied 10
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hours
which fall to about
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7hours
. Doing sports fall from
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10hours
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
3hours
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2002 to 2007"?
from 2002 till 2007
. In all the entire period bowling was under
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5hours
and it
Possible spelling mistake found.
quitted
on almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
1hours
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
. Over
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10hours
were dedicated
to watching DVDs in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it reached to the top over 15
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hours
in 2002 and 2007 and in the final year it came back to 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 and 2007 v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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