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The chart below shows the Higher Colleges of Technology graduates in the UAE. v.1

The chart below shows the Higher Colleges of Technology graduates in the UAE. v. 1
The bar chart compares the number of students who were awarded honours from different colleges under the Higher Colleges of Technology. The graduates are categorized by the colleges they received their graduation from and based on their gender. Overall, more women finished their graduation courses than that of males. As is suggested in the illustration, roughly 2500 pupils achieved graduation degree from the HTC colleges and among them over 1400 were females. Dubai college awarded degrees to the highest number of students and among them around 550 were females and 430 were males. The second most number of graduates were from Abu Dhabi college and 273 male students were awarded degrees compare to 293 female students. It is quite striking to observe that female graduates outnumbered male students in all colleges in terms of achieving the degree bestowed by the educational institutes. The number of students who earned their graduations from Al Ain, Sharjah and Ras Al Khaimah colleges was somewhat similar, ranging from 250 to 350 and more than 60% of those graduates were females.
The bar chart compares the
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number
of
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students
who
were awarded
Possible spelling mistake. 'honours' is British English.
honours
from
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different
colleges under the Higher Colleges of Technology. The
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graduates
are categorized
by the colleges they received their
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graduation
from and based on their gender.
Overall
, more women finished their
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graduation
courses than that of males.

As
is suggested
in the illustration, roughly 2500 pupils achieved
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graduation
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degree
from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
HTC
colleges and among them over 1400 were
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females
.
The genitive is possibly missing.
Dubai college
awarded
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degrees
to the highest
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number
of
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students
and among them around 550 were
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females
and 430 were males. The second most
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number
of
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graduates
were from Abu Dhabi college and 273 male
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students
were awarded
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degrees
compare to 293
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female
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students
. It is quite striking to observe that
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female
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graduates
outnumbered male
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students
in all colleges in terms of achieving the
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degree
bestowed by the educational institutes. The
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number
of
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students
who earned their
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graduations
from Al Ain,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sharjah
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ras
Al
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khaimah
colleges was somewhat similar, ranging from 250 to 350 and more than 60% of those
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graduates
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
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French Proverb

IELTS academic The chart below shows the Higher Colleges of Technology graduates in the UAE. v. 1

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
176 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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