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The chart below shows the different types of goods and services purchased online in Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom in one year. v.2

The chart below shows the different types of goods and services purchased online in Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom in one year. v. 2
The bar chart shows percentage of consumers purchasing item online in three different countries, which are Australia, Canada, and The United Kingdom. There are several items appears on the chart, such as music, computers, and books, which become the top three percentages of consumers purchasing item online. In addition, DVDs/Video, food and drink, Toys, and Financial Service items following the ranks. For several items, such as music, books, computer equipment, DVDs/Video, and food and drink, amount of consumers whose come from the United Kingdom bigger than Australia and Canada. Especially on music, they reach about 68% point, following by books which reach amount 65%. Online Consumers of The United Kingdom only beaten by two items, which by Financial Services and toys. Australian online consumers always on third or second places. They never beat The United Kingdom online consumers, unless on one item, financial service, which they can reach 18%. In other hands, The United Kingdom consumers only reach 1%, and Canadian just 12%. Overall, the United Kingdom consumers purchasing items by online system.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
percentage of
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consumers
purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, which are Australia, Canada, and The
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United
Kingdom. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
appears on the chart, such as music, computers, and books, which become the top three percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
In addition
, DVDs/Video, food and drink, Toys, and Financial Service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
following the ranks.

For several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, such as music, books, computer equipment, DVDs/Video, and food and drink, amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
whose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
Kingdom bigger than Australia and Canada.
Especially
on music, they
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reach
about 68% point, following by books which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
amount 65%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Consumers
of The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
Kingdom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beaten by two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, which by Financial Services and toys.

Australian
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
always on third or second places. They never beat The
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United
Kingdom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
, unless on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
, financial service, which they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
18%. In other hands, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
Kingdom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
1%, and Canadian
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
12%.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
Kingdom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
system.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS academic The chart below shows the different types of goods and services purchased online in Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom in one year. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
173 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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