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The graph shows the amount spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. v.2

The graph shows the amount spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. v. 2
the line graph illustrates how much money spent on book in four countries, namely Germany, France, Italy and Austria from 1995 to 2005. It is clear that the propotion of Germany was by far highest during the research period. At the same time, there was a significant increase in the amount of money in four coutries from 1995 to 2005. In 1995, eighty millions of dollar was spent on book in Germany. At the same time, this figures in France, Italy, Austria was 55 millions of dollar, 50 millions of dollar, 30 millions of dollar relatively. Germany and Italy rose in the period time before they slightly went down in 2003, 1999 relatively. In 2005, Germay still had a highest figure, at just under 100 millions of dollar. France stably went up to over 70 millions of dollar. Austria dramatically jumped to 70 millios of dollar, more than Italy which spent 60 millions of dollar in book in 2005.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
line graph illustrates how much money spent on book in four countries,
namely
Germany, France, Italy and Austria from 1995 to 2005.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
propotion
of Germany was by far highest during the research period. At the same time, there was a significant increase in the amount of money in four
Possible spelling mistake found.
coutries
from 1995 to 2005.

In 1995, eighty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
was spent
on book in Germany. At the same time, this figures in France, Italy, Austria was 55
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
, 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
, 30
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millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
relatively
. Germany and Italy rose in the period time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
slightly
went down in 2003, 1999
relatively
.

In 2005,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Germay
still
had
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
highest figure, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
. France
stably
went up to over 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
. Austria
dramatically
jumped to 70
Possible spelling mistake found.
millios
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
, more than Italy which spent 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
in book in 2005.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS academic The graph shows the amount spent on books in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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