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The bar chart below gives information about four countries spending habits of shopping on consumer goods in 2012. v.3

The bar chart below gives information about four countries spending habits of shopping on consumer goods in 2012. v. 3
The supplied bar chart compares the expenditure on consumer goods by the shoppers of four different countries namely Belgium, Spain, Austria and Britain for the year 2012. The chart shows the expenses in thousands of pounds for six main consumer goods. As is presented in the graph, British people spent the highest amount while citizens of Belgium seems like spent the least amount in for the given six consumer products. For console games, citizens of these four countries expended around 150 thousand pounds on an average and British people spent more than other nations. The expenditure for outdoor game accessories was almost similar to the expenditure of console games. For the cosmetics, again British people spent more than other nations and the average expense was close to the game devices (console and outdoor). Similar expense pattern can be observed for the books and people of Belgium spent the least amount on books among the four nations. The highest expenditure made by the given four nations was in camera and the expenses made by British, Austrian, Spain and Belgian were approximately 170, 166, 156 and 145 thousand pounds consecutively. These nations spent a little less on toys, which was the second most expenditure category.
The supplied bar chart compares the
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expenditure
on consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
by the shoppers of four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries
namely
Belgium, Spain, Austria and Britain for the year 2012. The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the expenses in thousands of pounds for six main consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. As
is presented
in the graph, British
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the highest amount while citizens of Belgium seems like
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spent
the least amount in for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
six consumer products.

For console
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games
, citizens of these four countries expended around 150 thousand pounds on an average and British
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people
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spent
more than other
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nations
. The
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expenditure
for outdoor game accessories was almost similar to the
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expenditure
of console
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games
. For the cosmetics, again British
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more than other
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nations
and the average
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expense
was close to the game devices (console and outdoor). Similar
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expense
pattern can
be observed
for the books and
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people
of Belgium
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spent
the least amount on books among the four
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nations
. The highest
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expenditure
made by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
four
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nations
was in camera and the expenses made by British, Austrian, Spain and Belgian were approximately 170, 166, 156 and 145 thousand pounds
consecutively
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less on toys, which was the second most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expenditure
category.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The bar chart below gives information about four countries spending habits of shopping on consumer goods in 2012. v. 3

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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