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The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spending chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK, v.2

The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spending chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK, v. 2
The bar chart illustrates the figure for time on each school day for chatting on the Internet and playing games of teenagers aged from 10 to 15 years old in the UK. Overall, it is clear that the percentage of time which youngsters between the age of 10 and 15 years old spent playing on games console dominated this figure they spent chatting on the Internet. However, there were different trends for boys and girls in the term of these purposes. Looking at the figure for chatting on the Internet, boys of the age from 10 to 15 years old spent much less time on this activity than their counterparts, represented at 55% and approximately 70% respectively. For more details, the male people in this age group who spent time chatting more than an hour on an average school day were in the majority, at around 50%. By contrast, the percentage of 10-15 year old boys playing on games was around 85% which saw a significant decrease in this of girls in the same age participating in this activity, reached at 50%. In both genders, spending less than one hour per school day for games was in the minority.
The bar chart illustrates the figure for
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time
on each school day for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
on the Internet and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
aged from 10 to 15 years
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old
in the UK.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which youngsters between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 10 and 15 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
playing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
console dominated this figure they
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spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
on the Internet.
However
, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
trends for boys and girls in the term of these purposes.

Looking at the figure for
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chatting
on the Internet, boys of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
from 10 to 15 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
much less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on this activity than their counterparts, represented at 55% and approximately 70%
respectively
. For more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the male
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chatting
more than an hour on an average school day were in the majority, at around 50%.

By contrast, the percentage of 10-15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
boys playing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
was around 85% which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant decrease in this of girls in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
participating in this activity, reached at 50%. In both genders, spending less than one hour per school day for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
was in the minority.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount of time that 10 to 15-year-olds spending chatting on the Internet and playing on games consoles on an average school day in the UK, v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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