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Bar chart: the percentage of boys, girls and all for chatting on the internet and playing on games console. v.2

Bar chart: the percentage of boys, girls and all for chatting on the internet and playing on games console. v. 2
The figure elucidates the percentage of males, females and both genders in two different aspects. At first glance, it is evident that the boys are dominant in playing on games’ console where the girls are dominant in chatting on the internet. To begin with the boys, the number of men who played this game is higher rather than women and both genders and it approximately achieved to well beneath 9 in 10. Nevertheless, the males’ percentages for chatting on the internet has become the lowest groups in which it merely has just above a half. In contrast, females have a different pattern with males in which it becomes the highest group for chatting on the internet, which made up at just under seven-tenths, and it also be the lowest group for playing on games’ console, which constituted at just over five-tenths. In accordance with both gender percentages, it became the second rank in these two different aspects where it has around 60 to 62 per cent for chatting on the internet and about well beyond three-fifths for playing games.
The figure elucidates the percentage of males, females and both genders in two
different
aspects. At
first
glance, it is evident that the boys are dominant in playing on
games’
console where the girls are dominant in
chatting
on the internet.

To
begin
with the boys, the number of
men
who played this game is higher
rather
than women and both genders and it approximately achieved to well beneath 9 in 10.
Nevertheless
, the males’ percentages for
chatting
on the internet has become the lowest groups in which it
merely
has
just
above a half.

In contrast
, females have a
different
pattern with males in which it becomes the highest group for
chatting
on the internet, which made up at
just
under seven-tenths, and it
also
be
the lowest group for playing on
games’
console, which constituted at
just
over five-tenths. In accordance with both gender percentages, it became the second rank in these two
different
aspects where it has around 60 to 62 per cent for
chatting
on the internet and about well beyond three-fifths for playing
games
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS academic Bar chart: the percentage of boys, girls and all for chatting on the internet and playing on games console. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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