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The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. v.4

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. v. 4
The graphs present data on the money spent by British on fast food in 1990 and the consumption of three junk food items over 30 years. The expenditure is given for each person in a week in Pence while the consumption is presented in gram per person. As is presented in the bar graph, in 1990, British people with high-income range spent more than 40 Pence in a week on Hamburger which was higher than that of other items. They spent only 16 pence/person on Fish & Chips while around 18 pence on Pizza. Again, Hamburger was the most popular item among the medium income class. They spent over 30 pence on this item while they spent only 25 Pence on Fish & Pizza and 11 Pence/person on Pizza. Finally, among the low-income group, the fish & chips was the most popular fast food item as they spend the highest money on this (17 Pence per week by an individual). Their expenditure on the pizza was only 6 Pence. According to the line graph, people ate pizza than any other fast food in 1970. UK citizens, in this year, devoured more than 300 grams of pizza while the consumed only 100 grams of hamburger and fish & chips. The percentage of pizza consumption started declining and reached to only 200 grams on 1990. On the contrary, the popularity of the fish and chips reached to 500 grams in 1990. Finally, the consumption of hamburger also increased and reached to around 300 grams in 1990.
The graphs present data on the money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by British on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
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food
in 1990 and the
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consumption
of three junk
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food
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items
over 30 years. The expenditure is
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given
for each person in a week in Pence while the
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consumption
is presented
in
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gram
per person.

As
is presented
in the bar graph, in 1990, British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with high-income range
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more than 40 Pence in a week on Hamburger which was higher than that of other
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items
. They
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spent
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only
16 pence/person on Fish & Chips while around 18 pence on Pizza. Again, Hamburger was the most popular
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item
among the medium income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. They
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spent
over 30 pence on this
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item
while they
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spent
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only
25 Pence on Fish & Pizza and 11 Pence/person on Pizza.
Finally
, among the low-income group, the fish & chips was the most popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
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food
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item
as they spend the highest money on this (17 Pence per week by an individual). Their expenditure on the pizza was
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only
6 Pence.

According to the line graph,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ate pizza than any other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
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food
in 1970.
The genitive is possibly missing.
UK citizens
, in this year, devoured more than 300
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grams
of pizza while the consumed
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only
100
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grams
of hamburger and fish & chips. The percentage of pizza
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consumption
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started
declining and reached to
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only
200
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grams
on 1990.
On the contrary
, the popularity of the fish and chips reached to 500
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grams
in 1990.
Finally
, the
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consumption
of hamburger
also
increased and reached to around 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 1990.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. v. 4

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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