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The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. v.3

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. v. 3
The column graph shows how much money the British citizens spent on three fast food items based on their economic status in 1990 while the line graph reveals the consumption of these items during 1970 and 1990. Overall, rich British spent more on junk food than low-income class in 1990 and fish & chips became the most consumed junk food over the period. It is interesting to note that, wealthy British spent more on hamburgers while less on fish & chips. They drained around 45 pence per person in a week for hamburgers while roughly 15-20 pence on other two items. Moderate income class prefered hamburger but spend approximately 33 pence on that. They spent the least on the pizza which amounted for nearly 12 pence. Low-income class, on the contrary, spent less on fast foods and they spent between 7 to 14 pence for each item, despite fish and chips being their most favourite. According to the line graph, British citizens consumed pizza more than other two items. In 1970, consumption of pizza was 300 gm per person while it was less than 100 gm for other two items. Over the time, fish & chips became the most consumed fast food with 500 gm consumption. During this time, pizza became less popular while hamburger gained some popularity.
The column graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how much money the British citizens
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spent
on three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
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food
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items
based on their economic status in 1990 while the line graph reveals the consumption of these
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items
during 1970 and 1990.
Overall
, rich British
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spent
more on junk
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food
than low-income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in 1990 and fish & chips became the most consumed junk
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food
over the period.

It is interesting to note that, wealthy British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more on hamburgers while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
on fish & chips. They drained around 45 pence per person in a week for hamburgers while roughly 15-20 pence on other two
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items
. Moderate income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
hamburger
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but
spend approximately 33 pence on that. They
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spent
the least on the pizza which amounted for
nearly
12 pence. Low-income
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class
,
on the contrary
,
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spent
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less
on
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fast
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
foods and
they
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spent
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 7 and 14".
between 7 to 14
pence for each
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item
, despite fish and chips being their most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
.

According to the line graph, British citizens consumed pizza more than other two
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items
. In 1970, consumption of pizza was 300 gm per person while it was
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less
than 100 gm for other two
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items
. Over the time, fish & chips became the most consumed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with 500 gm consumption. During this time, pizza became
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less
popular while hamburger gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
popularity.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. v. 3

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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