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The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. v.2

The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. v. 2
The bar chart compares weekly expenditure of the British on three fast food items in 1990 while the line graph shows the consumption of these items from 1970 to 1990. Overall, expenditure on fast food varied based on people’s income and the pizza was the most consumed item in 70’s but in later years, consumption of fish & chips increased remarkably. According to the bar graph, high-income class people spent more money on the hamburger (more than 40 Pence/person) than on fish & chips and pizza. Their spending was also higher than average and low-income class people on fast food. Average income class people also spent more on hamburgers but their spending on fish and chips (25 pence) was more than other two income groups. Finally, the low-income class British citizens spent comparatively less on fast food items and fish& chips cost them most (about 17 pence). They spent the least amount on purchasing pizza (around 7 pence/person). On the other hand, the line graph shows the consumption of these items by the British from 1970 to 1990. Initially, pizza consumption in Britain was highest (300 gm/ person) in 1970. In this year, less than 80 gm of hamburger and fish & chips were consumed by an average person. Over the time, pizza consumption declined and fish & chips became the most consumed item in 1990 with 500 gm consumption per person.
The bar chart compares weekly expenditure of the British on three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
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items
in 1990 while the line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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consumption
of these
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items
from 1970 to 1990.
Overall
, expenditure on
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
varied based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
income and the pizza was the most consumed
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item
in
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "70s".
70’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in later years,
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consumption
of fish & chips increased
remarkably
.

According to the bar graph, high-income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
more money on the hamburger (more than 40 Pence/person) than on fish & chips and pizza. Their spending was
also
higher than average and low-income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
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fast
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food
. Average income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
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people
also
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spent
more on hamburgers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their spending on fish and chips (25 pence) was more than other two income groups.
Finally
, the low-income
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class
British citizens
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spent
comparatively
less on
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
fish&
chips cost them most (about 17 pence). They
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spent
the least amount on purchasing pizza (around 7 pence/person).

On the other hand
, the line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
by the British from 1970 to 1990.
Initially
, pizza
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
in Britain was highest (300 gm/ person) in 1970. In this year, less than 80 gm of hamburger and fish & chips
were consumed
by an average person. Over the time, pizza
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consumption
declined and fish & chips became the most consumed
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item
in 1990 with 500 gm
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consumption
per person.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
232 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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