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The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. v.8

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. v. 8
The bar graph illustrates the duration of free time enjoyed by male and female with various professional status in a typical week in 1998-99. At the first glance, it is clear that jobless and pensioner people had a longer idle time to enjoy and men enjoyed more leisure hours than women. As it is presented in the diagram, full-time employed people had fewer leisure hours than people with other professional states. Male who worked from 9 to 5, had approximately 43 hours of free time per week whereas, females had roughly 38 hours spare time to relish. No data was given for the part-time employed men, meanwhile, women with this working status had exactly 40 hours to appreciate during the week. On top of that, housewives had 10 more free hours than the part-time employed females in a week. It is crystal clear that the highest spare hours were available to those who didn’t work or who retired from their jobs. It is worth noticing that, men regardless of employment scenario, had more hours to kill than that of females.
The bar graph illustrates the duration of free
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time
enjoyed by male and
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female
with various professional status in a typical week in 1998-99. At the
first
glance, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that jobless and pensioner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had a longer idle
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time
to enjoy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
enjoyed more leisure
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hours
than women.

As it
is presented
in the diagram, full-time employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had fewer leisure
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hours
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with other professional states. Male who worked from 9 to 5, had approximately 43
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hours
of free
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time
per week whereas,
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females
had roughly 38
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hours
spare
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time
to relish. No data was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for the part-time employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, meanwhile, women with this working status had exactly 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to appreciate during the week.
On top of that
, housewives had 10 more free
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hours
than the part-time employed
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females
in a week.

It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the highest spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
were available to those who didn’t work or who retired from their jobs. It is worth noticing that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
regardless of employment scenario, had more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to kill than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. v. 8

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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