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The bar charts illustrates the amount of electricity produced and utilized by ten different countrie in 2014. summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.2

The bar charts illustrates the amount of electricity produced and utilized by ten different countrie in 2014.
The bar charts illustrates the quantity of electricity produced and utilized by ten different countries in 2014. Overall, China and United States manufactured significantly higher volume of electricity than any other countries on the list which is approximately four times higher than that by the third country of the list. Almost for all of the countries in the list, the amount of electricity created is higher than consumed, but Germany is the only country that used more electricity than its production. China clinched the top position with 5398 billion kWh of electricity, meanwhile they processed 5, 322 billion kWh. Meanwhile United states falls short from china by around 300 billion kWh of electricity which secured them the second position. There is a substantial difference between the top two and bottom eight countries in the chart which is around 3000 kWh between United states at position two and Russia at position three. In addition to that, bottom four countries produced around 564. 2 billion kWh of electricity and consumed about 450 billion kWh of it where Korea, Rep positioned at the bottom of the chart with 485. 1 kWh.
The bar charts
You should probably use "illustrate".
illustrates
the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
produced and utilized by ten
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in 2014.

Overall
, China and United States manufactured
significantly
higher volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
than any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
on the list which is approximately four times higher than that by the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of the list. Almost for
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the list, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
created is higher than consumed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Germany is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
than its production.

China clinched the top position with 5398
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kWh of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, meanwhile they processed 5, 322
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kWh.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
United states
falls short from
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
by around 300
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kWh of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
which secured them the second position.

There is a substantial difference between the top two and bottom eight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the chart which is around 3000 kWh between
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
United states
at position two and Russia at position three.
In addition
to that, bottom four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
produced around 564. 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kWh of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
and consumed about 450
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
kWh of it where Korea, Rep positioned at the bottom of the chart with 485. 1 kWh.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS academic The bar charts illustrates the amount of electricity produced and utilized by ten different countrie in 2014.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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